Is it the middle of winter, freezing cold outside, and you’re stuck in a repeat groundhog day of trudging back and forth to work wishing you could go on a nice tropical vacation? Do you want to just sit back, relax, and let Calgon take you away? Well, there is a simple solution to your misery, I mean problem. Let’s pull out that Instant Pot pressure cooker your mother-in-law gave you for Christmas two years ago, wipe the dust off, and make ourselves some Kalua Pork! It does not get any more simple than this recipe, folks. Don’t believe you can make Kalua Pork better than the native Hawaiians that dug a big ass pit, buried a pig wrapped in banana leaves, and tended a fire for hours to produce the most juicy, succulent, salty delicious thing on Earth while you sit back having a few cold ones letting a pressure cook do all the hard work? Trust me on this one, and get ready to blow the socks off all those lame dads wearing socks with sandals like it is some sort of fashion statement! Get to the store, pick up a small pork shoulder and a case of beer to help pass the time, and stay tuned for the easiest Kalua Pork on this planet!
We are going to start out with a basic pork shoulder. Now depending how cheap your in-laws are in gifting you a larger or smaller pressure cooker, get the biggest pork shoulder you can find that will fit inside your cooker. I actually suggest those smaller 3-5lb ones that are typically netted and available at almost every grocery store, but hey, if you want to go big, go ahead and grab that 12 pounder and show everyone who is boss! We are going to start by breaking the shoulder down into smaller hunks, about the size of your fist or a softball. There is no special skill required here…..literally just cut the thing into several chunks so we can get a sear on them and make them fit in your pressure cooker. If you have traveled to Hawaii before and smartly thought beforehand to grab a big ass bag of Hawaiian salt to bring home, or have a local store nearby where you can purchase some, let’s go ahead and use the good stuff. For the rest of you cheap wannabes, Kosher salt will work just fine, I suppose, lol. Now against everything your brain is going to tell you and your body is going to suffer and complain of high blood pressure, salt the ever-living bejesus out of those hunks of pork. Once you think you have enough on there, go ahead and add another handful over the top. Trust me here, those cuts of pork are still fairly large and we want the salt to really penetrate deep into the center. This would also be a good time to sprinkle a normal human amount of black pepper over every piece as well to pretend like we are not complete monsters and do have some self control. And that my friends is basically all the prep work necessary for this ultimate Kalua Pork.
Set your pressure cooker to saute mode and heat up some cooking oil. If you have mad kitchen skills and pretend not to be a rookie noob, pull out that jar of bacon fat from the fridge and use it instead. Now we are cooking with flavor! Once hot, sear the pork a couple pieces at a time on all sides then set aside. You don’t want to overcrowd the pot and steam these things. Get a nice crunchy sear all over and repeat the process till all your pork is done. Once all the pork is removed and while the pot is still hot, dump in a couple cups of chicken stock and scrape up those tasty bits off the bottom. Fancy people call that fond, but I’m a simple man and just call it flavor enhancer! Boom, we are essentially done sweating away and laboring in the kitchen. Drop the little trivet thing into the pot without splashing hot goodness all over the place, stack up the seared pork pieces, replace the lid and set to pressure cook mode for 90 minutes. That’s it, folks. Grab your beers and go relax in front of the tv for a bit while the pressure cooker does all that hole digging, banana leaf wrapping, fire tending labor for you! No need to worry about much of anything at this point. In fact, once it comes up to pressure and cooks for 90 minutes, go ahead and just it naturally pressure release. I told you this recipe is as simple as it gets!
Once you wake up from your nap, remove the lid and just look and smell that glorious pork! Believe me when I say good luck using tongs to remove it because everything is just going to naturally shred and fall apart for you. Get it all over into a container, poke around and make sure it is completely shredded, then pat yourself on the back for making the best damn simple pressure cooker Kalua Pork ever! Call over the heathens, I mean your family, and dig in and enjoy.
One last pro tip, though, before you run to the store to make this recipe. Check out this easy Hawaiian Macaroni Salad to go along with your Kalua Pork. It can be made ahead of time or during the 90 minute cook time itself. A full meal in under 2 hours that will virtually whisk you away from your misery and mentally put you on island time, bruh!
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